Memories that Grow

moms garden

My mom loved frogs, hen and chick plants, and the color purple.

Creating a memorial for a lost loved one is an effective way to help move through the process of grief. The past six months have brought some loses to my life and the lives of my family.  Our biggest loss has been the death of my mom and her absence is still very acute for me, my husband, and my children.  Another loss that hit us all very hard is that of our beloved 14 year old dog, Inka, who was a constant happy presence in our lives.  I wanted to create some special, growing, living memorials for our lost family members and began to plant memory gardens.  Not only was it healing for me to imagine and design the gardens but it continues to be cathartic to care for them.  My husband liked the idea of memorial gardens so much that he is now designing one for his adored dad whose death 4 years ago left a huge hole in our family’s heart. It will include some cacti because his dad loved the desert and representations of his artist father’s work.

Inka's garden

Inka’s garden (where she used to love to bask in the sun)

Memorial gardens can range from simple container gardens to more intricate and larger scale versions , but the important thing is to make it something that you feel connects you to your loved one. For more information on making your own check out these websites:

There are also some great ideas on pinterest!

Angry Music In the Wind

Angry music in the wind,

Still makes the trees dance.

The muggy breeze is ancient,

And still touches every branch.

Chloroplasts in the leaves,

Are calling out “no boundaries”.

But every cell membrane must find structure,

Even to exist as a tree.

The steadfast monsoon begins,

Are we love, Are we family?

Branching out for blue skies,

Only a few must crash down.

But what of that intracellular space,

The emotional core where hurt is deepest?

Heated words must keep flowing,

In photosynthetic effort,

To find leaves just waiting,

To be stirred in the breeze.- JDM 7/2011